Sunday, April 15, 2007

How does a guy...

get ot be just a little bit "dangerous?"


all my adult life people, especially women, have judged me to be "safe." Whenever we are out (the beach, NY city, etc) people ask me to take their picture with their camers because I look "safe" or "trustworthy." I guess I'm all... somebody (Ward Cleaver, maybe?) and not the least bit Hugh Jackman.

Today on the flight from Amsterdam to Birmingham (pronounced Birmnghm) I was seated next to a lady with a midlands English accent who was my age, maybe a year or 2 younger. We talked prior to take-off, but me being 6'3" and 265 lbs, and her having a Reubinesque figure we were a little tight against the arm rest between us. After we were airborn she folded the armrest up then shifted her weight to right hip, which pressed her left hip fully against me. She must have felt me tense up becauase she turned and said "It's alright love- I'm safe and so are you."

I replied "Oh no, I might be dangerous and one of those men your mother warned you about."

"No, your quite harmless. Your eyes give you away" and with that she turned back around again pressed against me with her left side.

So, how do I lose the Ward Cleaver and get a little Wolverine going?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Foolish, foolish man!

First you surgically, without anesthesia, remove a major organ- your ability to love and be loved by women as "safe" as your wife, and, in fact, you remove your wife's love for you.

If you still want to know what Step Two is, let me know.

I may or may not tell you Step Two at that point, but I WILL skip on over to your home when you get back from England, and beat you with Rootie's cane until you see sense, and until I feel better, which may be quite a bit longer.